Of all the dreams I see, this one haunts me the most - It’s a long road through a golden field. There’s an aroma of some summer crop. I stand where the road ends, bright light in front of me, engulfs my vision and make me blind.
The wind blows right on my face. There’s a gushing sound in my ears.
I tried to open my eyes. Tried again. Tried one last time
Silence
She spoke silently, I couldn't listen to her, for the rain splatters hard on the windowpane, and there is thunder. I don’t worry much, for I cared more about her silence than her words then.
Lord of the Drinks
What’s the plan tonight?
Let’s drink wine and watch Lord of the RIngs
Lord of the Drinks. Ha ha ha huh eh
Bud, c’mon, let’s go, ew!
Teetotaler
Bud, I thought you are a teetotaler!
Yeah dude, I totally avoid tea
Seriously bud, is that a joke? ew!
Who needs wings?
I was not really happy when the kid I met in the store took off that red robe from his Superman toy.
When asked he told, Superman doesn't need wings to fly.
Going to be five years in the corporate, I thought I should just look back for a moment. The things I've experienced and learnt so far. As someone rightly said "Experience is the best teacher, but the fee is bit high";
I still remember vaguely, some of my school days.
"When you grow up, who do you want to be?" Sounds familiar right? The question we had to answer for a long time. I seriously thought during my kindergarten, that, if I say I want to become a scientist, when I grow up, I HAD to become a scientist, there are no two ways to it. When I saw the first plane flew over, I changed my answer, I want to become a pilot. When I first visited an aircraft carrier, the answer changed. When I first looked through a microscope I had goosebumps, my answer changed. When I joined college I worked to be a marketeer. In between I thought of shifting to an operations research professional.
I don't know if I grew up or not, but after my undergrad, I became a Project Coordinator in an education technology start-up, After my higher education, I became a Sales Officer and a Senior Sales Officer.
When I write this, I am a Business Analyst, working for a US based technology company. I have changed roles, I have shifted industries. Today, for the first time, I believe: I have discovered what do I want to be. It's not a decision, but it's a discovery. A discovery fueled by the days of testing, learning, disappointment, success, failure, disgust, happiness, commitment, tears and courage
One thing that I'd like to remind my young brothers and sisters out there. People say, "Follow your dreams". But, we may have an endless doubt about "What's my dream?" Never mind. Somethings take time. In your initial days of career, be persistent and keep up your hope. Put in the best in everything you do. Be sincere, honest and truthful in your career. And when you make choices, make reasonable ones. Everyday is a lesson.
Learn & Grow!
It was a heavy downpour when the old man got down the train. Water was dripping down through his rugged umbrella. It slightly wet his faded shoulder bag. He looked hunger-stricken and tired because of continuous travel. Now he has to catch a bus. The town looked so lonely in the rain. In the distance he saw a small hotel and started to walk towards it. While walking, he was coughing, and every time he coughed, he used to shook himself. His one hand was inside the shoulder bag, searching for some coins and last few currency notes
It was a small hotel. Two or three candles and an old kerosene lamp gave weak lighting inside. There were around seven old men inside, some having their meals, some drinking tea. Two-three people stood outside the veranda. On the veranda, a mother and child were lying down. The child was crying feebly. A big blue polythene cover could hardly protect them from the harsh rain.
While he went inside, he could sense the feeling of strangeness. No one smiled at him, neither did he.
Never in his life, had the feeling of strangeness haunted him. Even when he left his homeland and went to Kolkatta to work in a chemical factory. It was his toughest days in life. 18 hours of work everyday. Suffocating smell of chemicals, unknown language and no friends. Everything was new to him, the people, the places. But there was one thing which made him cheerful: His family. He worked hard in almost all phases of his life. All these years he was running around. To give his family, a better life. For his children's education, for a not-so-small house, his wife always dreamed about. It was not the feeling of strangeness that has haunted him. What haunted him was the feeling of devastation when his family threw him out. After all these years of sacrifice, he realized that he had not earned anything. The hardest thing in life is to lose what you live for. For him, it was the family
The rain made splattering sound inside the hotel. He ordered a parcel for his lunch. carefully he kept the warm parcel inside his bag, went out and he walked towards the bus.
The child was crying out of hunger. The mother begged the people who were passing by. She seemed to have no strength for tears. Suddenly she felt something on her towel, it was a warm parcel of food.
The old man almost got on to the bus, he was all wet due to the rain. He had only a rugged umbrella and a faded shoulder bag.
Well, when I choose a topic to write, I take great care for it to be very positive. But it is slightly different today.
Last month I had a medical emergency and was hospitalized for a month. I met this guy in the hospital. He was working as software engineer in Chennai. For an onsite job, once he went to UK. A day before his return, he got a small fever. He consulted a doctor, took some medicines and an injection. He came back to Chennai. Fever was not reduced. The next day, the world around him was not the same, or rather, he was not the same. His whole body was paralyzed, lost his all senses and there he is, alive and yet not so. No medicines could bring him back. Treatment is still going on with lot of effort and hope. When I do my shoulder physio, he will also be in the same room. I could never look at him for a long time. Because in his eyes, there is a frightening feel of helplessness.
Is this life? So unpredictable! How do we prepare for this unpredictability? Or is it necessary at all to do so? These are some questions I have in my mind. Certain things I want to remember and share here.
You cannot live your life as if the very next moment is your last one. I don’t think that is very comfortable. Also on the other side, you cannot live your life believing that the merry and joy of this moment is going to persist for ever. This is not wise either. So where do you strike the balance?
Unfortunate things can happen to us anytime. The best thing to do is to be aware of every moment, be happy and focused on the present. Happiness is the best decision man can take. “Whatever happens, I will stay happy and cheerful”
Do good to others, help someone everyday. Remember about the less fortunate people than us. It’s not always about money, it is also about a small favour or a kind deed by which you can spread a smile
Spend time with loved ones. Invest for them
Is it good imagine, “How do my loved ones live their life, one fine day when I’m gone? Is there something that I forgot to do for them?”
Sorry, if I hurt anyone’s feelings. But preparing for unpredictability is something that we all should think about, right?
Their life goes back,
and at the end, they settle down in their memories.
Our memories have no uncertainty, no chaos. They are random
but real; whereas dreams are extension of our thoughts. There can be lot of
uncertainty and dreams need not be real. That’s why these people never live in
their dreams. For these people, memories can change how they look upon things
at the present. Memoires often make them feel how blessed they were, how
blessed they still are. When these people age, their memories fade away. But
magically, the memories settle down in their minds like strong undercurrents in
a calm river. One fine day the memories will cuddle them like warm sunshine. And
I have heard that it is one of the best feelings ever.
Memories are awesome things, good or bad; sometimes they can
be really magical.
If I were to describe Delhi in one word, I would say, Delhi is majestic!
Arjun, Parthi and me went to Delhi last January, to take part in an event organized by IBA (Indus Business Academy) and Spandan. We were selected from 12 people all over India and for the same reason we were happy. The event was in IBA, Greater Noida campus. We had to deliver presentations based on “Human Values in Business”. Happy that we could bring home, the second and third prices. Of course that was with Amma’s blessings, and Vaidy sir’s guidance.
For us, this was also an opportunity to visit and roam around Delhi. The trip had another specialty too. I was flying for the first time. (Thanks for my dear one who offered me the ticket). I started from Cochin. I was in a dream world, flying through the clouds. The flight was via Mumbai. For the first time I saw Mumbai from a thousand feet high and it was quite attractive. I remembered the movie “Wake up Sid”. Beautiful buildings kissing up the clouds, clean highways, the shore line, beach… I wish I could get down there, but I couldn’t. After an hour or so we took off to Delhi. When we were about to land, some kid screamed from the back – “Taj Mahal”. Peeping through the windows I could see a majestic building; I am not cent percent sure if it was the Taj, but it was awesome! When I landed in Delhi, at around 4pm, I started feeling the chillness of the winter.
I got a friend, Sreedhar, who was going to the same campus and we hired a taxi. As time passed by, I started feeling cold and hunger. We stopped by a place where they were preparing some pani puri, bhel, vada pav, pav bhaji etc. We had enough! After travelling an hour, I reached the place. Even though the place was really cold, the people over there were really warm! I had a nice dinner with them and I made some good friends over there – Shalabh, Abontika… They showed me their campus. After a walk-around of 20 mins in winter cold, they offered me a hot cup of coffee. Wow!
The next day, Arjun and Parthi came to the campus. That day we started to roam around Delhi. Morning, we hired an auto from the campus, to the bus stand. The auto guy was wearing a turban and was playing beautiful Punjabi songs in the auto. The first few things which got my attention in Delhi were the neat highways and of course the well planned Metro. The first place we visited was Akshardham temple. It was a very good experience to walk around through such a majestic historical monument. The only sad thing, they didn’t allow to take pics inside the temple.
Then we moved to Palika Bazaar. It was like a market without boundaries! We have no idea how long we spend there. Then we went to The India Gate. Three of us sang National Anthem in front of the India Gate and all of us got goose bums!
The next day was our presentation. And we believe, all of us did a good job. After a nice lunch and discussion with people from the industry and the academia, we set out for our return trip. As I flew back to Cochin, I had one wish in my mind, “I need to come back to Delhi, but not alone”. I landed in Cochin before noon. Amma was giving Darshan at that time in the Ashram. Straight I went to Amma, and I told her about the prize. She was so happy and so, me too :)
During the last month this time, I was working in Amrita e-Learning research labs, busy with polishing the purchase, budget documents and handing over my work to my colleague. And now I’m in ASB; One among the 60 vibrant students of the 2011-13 batch!!! I feel proud, fortunate and happy…
Being seated in the class, attending lectures, answering roll calls, participating in the class activities, etc reminded me about my colorful UG life… In ASB I could feel the atmosphere to be really warm and wonderful. From the first day onwards I feel light hearted and more enthusiastic. From the inside, I listen to a voice whispering, “This is going to be another twist in your life”. Yes! We all are looking forward… Our batch size is around 60 (While having dinner today, in the mess, I met two new guys also). We come from different background, different culture, and also different parts of the country too – Rajasthan, Punjab, Gujarat, Assam, Tamil Nadu etc, and I believe we all make a wonderful team
Though awesome days are yet to come, we all witnessed one, yesterday – The Ice Breaking Session. It was the first informal session with our seniors. They made us sing songs, dance, act according to certain situations and funny stuffs like that… All that was real fun, we enjoyed a lot. It was the ‘getting to know each other’ phase for us. People were warm and jovial. Kudos to our seniors for making that evening a memorable one.
Looking forward for exciting days – to learn, share, grow and enjoy! Thank you all who gave me an opportunity to be here.
Endless horizon decorated by the lush green graze land… cold wind muffling the air around. We explored the scenic beauty of Wagamon, ran over the graze lands, howled aloud so that even our voice was shivering in the cold….
Wagamon is a charming hill station in Kottayam-Idukki border. This is my second visit to Wagamon, both with my dear ones … The month of December is so special for me since I am from Kottayam… The entire town becomes so majestic due to Christmas and the winter cold… This December was more special for me… The trip was planned quickly, but was charted perfectly…. We escaped from our office one fine evening, went to our home and had an awesome home stay, then started in the early morning to Wagamon.
The mist of December welcomed us in the morning; we could see our car covered with the droplets of mist. Sipping warm cup of tea and hot steamed bananas, we planned to take traditional breakfast in Pala. To offer our prayers, we went to the Bharananganam Church. We could observe slight changes in the topography… small windings on road changed to big uphill turns, where the cold wind closed our ears making it difficult to listen to the soothing music by Strings played in Silly’s Sony stereo…! I didn’t feel I was travelling with my colleagues, I felt I was travelling with my bros and my sweet sis…
I don’t know what motivated us to have ice-creams in the cold weather of Wagamon… After spending the entire morning there, we headed to Paruthumpara, a more fascinating, thrilling, breathtaking sight… Looking down the barricades, we could feel that we are standing on top of the world, wind was too cold and strong…Ajith bhai took wonderful snaps…
Having our dinner in Bar-Be-Que , Kottayam, discussing about the trip and beautiful moments, it was hard to believe that a weekend has flown away like a split second… Night, we had the Christmas cake together – A nice weekend, an awesome trip, and handful of sweet memorable moments… I am so happy that you all came to my hometown… Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas and Happy 2011…!!!
"Yeah, obviously, it will rain today", my friends told me when I put forward the idea of spending an evening in the beach. They may be right because it’s too windy today; also the sky is darker than usual. I love this climate and I love to watch the sea now… more vigor, more lively, and I believe that this energy transfers to us when we stand there, watching the horizon. But that’s not the reason for me to go, I just love to be there now, and sea is just a few minute walk from our room.
I took a small notepad with me and a pencil, sometimes I like to scribble down when I sit alone in peace and calm. The music of waves is the only sound you hear when you sit in the beach now. Nobody will be there; they all like to watch the sea from their balconies, when it rains. There are lots of rocks on the beach. They make a good sea-wall (a form of hard and strong coastal defense constructed on the inland part of a coast to reduce the effects of strong waves). This means that the sea can sometimes be a little bit mischievous. I sat down on a big rock. The waves always caress some rocks in the front row, and they have become incredibly smooth and beautiful over time, they have green algae on them, giving a lovely color to the rocks. The waves are a bit high today (or I like to believe that they are). Wind is stronger today, which I am quite sure, and when the wind blows on you, it brings tiny droplets of sea water and sprinkles on you everywhere… In the distant horizon, you can see fish boats; they seemed to be so still in water. There are lots of seagulls and other birds near the beach; they fly all around making funny noise. I wanted to go a little bit into the waves. I tore a paper from my notepad and made a small paper boat. Just wrote a name on it, Jeffrey (It’s a childhood habit; I always name my paper boats. And this name… I don’t know how the name Jeffrey came to my mind…) I walked above the rocks and went into the water, with the paper boat in my hand. Oh man, the water was goddamn cold. I placed the boat in the water, it came back to the shore thrice… I went a little bit more far, I really wanted to see my boat ‘traveling’. And you know - it did.
It was a cute little boat, white paper with blue lines on it. On one side it was written ‘jeffrey’ with a pencil. As Jeffrey sailed by itself, I was looking at it with utmost happiness. Wind is now cooler and faster, in some distant cloud, I could clearly hear soft thunder."Yeah, obviously, it will rain today"
When I reached room, it started rain, it was a smooth downpour. Raindrops spatter on my windowpanes. I sat down on my bed with a warm coffee.
There is a sound right? When we throw pebbles in water, or when small waves break on the shore, maybe that’s the only sound Jeffrey can hear now, or he can hear the sound of wind that accelerates him, I don’t know if he is wet now, due to rain…
I wonder how it could be so sunny in the sea now, when it rains so heavily here. Jeffrey is really enjoying the climate, and he is sailing so fast. The wind really accelerates him; can’t believe that a small boat can sail in this speed. I am afraid if the salt water spoils his facade, but Jeffrey is so smart than I imagined…
It’s getting dark, and now the wind is cold… Jeffrey could see a small light in a distance which was getting closer to him. It was a gigantic cargo ship, it made huge waves. Jeffrey could hardly poise in water. The noise of the turbine was unbearable, it also made huge whirlpool around Jeffrey, and slowly he drowned and was sucked through the turbine. He was completely wet and crumbled between a huge bolt and nut. It was a terrible voyage for him, he could feel the change in taste of water. Several days and nights passed.
“Coast is 6 Nautical miles” somebody in the ship commanded. Jeffrey could feel the anchor cable loosening; he was released in a new world, where he is so wet to sail. But waves pushed him to a new land – Atlanta.
Atlanta is a beautiful coastal town. The seashore is covered with golden sand and small pebbles, kids running all around, playing with small plastic shovels and sand carts… It is so sunny in the beach so that it took less than 5 minutes for Jeffrey to dry up and take his original shape.
“Pappa, from where do all these ships come from?”
“Son, they come from a faraway place in the sea…”
“Really…? So where are they going pa, why are they sailing like this?”
“Son, ships love to see us, they are coming to see people, they sail to different places, they meet lot of people, they enjoy their voyage … in the sun, in the rain…”
“I didn’t know it Pa… why do they love us? Can I take a ship to our home…? ”
“Dear, look the ships are really huge” Father pointed towards a huge ship in the sea… Jeffrey was smiling; he could faintly hear the conversation between a father and his little son. The son had cute blue eyes, he always asks questions. His father finds joy in answering all of them too…
“Hey Big Boy, come over here… we have a pool in our home and I will give you my water ducks to you” The kid screamed running towards the sea. He was staring at a big cargo ship in the sea. While he ran his hair flew in the breeze…. “Come here Big Boy….”
Suddenly a wave wet his shoes, he laughed like anything… and when he bend down to touch the waves he got Jeffrey in his hand…, “Pappaaa look, I got a small one… perfect for our pool, he can sail with my water ducks” The kid screaming in joy...
“Come here, it’s getting late, and leave it there son, it may be of somebody else”
“Who told Pa, the Big Boy gave this to me, if not, how come my name is there on this boat?”
“Come on Jeff, we need to hurry, it’s getting late”
“Pa, I got a boat… Hurray… thank you Big Boyyy”
“Jeffrey, come on….”, father called him once again.
One loud thunder woke me up; rain was still so heavy… I got up and walked towards the window, I really didn’t have any idea, why I was smiling… :)
It was not just a job, not just an office, and all of them were not just colleagues.
It’s been more than a year, and I am lucky to join our small company in its growing phase. Now, when I look back, it was not just a long journey, it is simply memorable though…
How do you define experience? Things you have learnt?Projects you have undergone? People you managed? Certificates you earned? Appreciation you achieved? Credits…? Applause…? Challenges…? Hurdles…? Mistakes…? Failures…? I believe, Experience = (What you are now) – (What you were before), Experience is the change that has happened, it’s the transition in your Life. It includes everything in the list (professional exposure), plus, moments that took your breath away, stuffs you have smiled at, places you chilled out with your friends (colleagues?), screams and laughter in the office, small parties, departs, new employees, fights, music, games, films, snacks and sweets (yummieee)…
When I joined in Amrita E-Learning research Labs, I thought, life will become more serious. Now I understand a fact, we’ve to be sincere and simple, not matured. We have to be open and celebrate each and every moment in life. Life is too short to hate anyone, or sit in despair. This place was heaven, every day we had reasons to smile. We didn’t have great victories or pathetic failures. Our life was simple. But you know one thing…. Our product was launched by APJ Abdul Kalam. We have deployments in major parts of the country and our clients include professors in US too. Oh, by the way, we develop software for e-learning and e-conference. Leading institutions like IIT, PSG, IIIT etc are our national clients. We have funding from ISRO, MHRD, NME-ICT etc… In our office, we have developers, engineers, research people, managers, etc pretty interesting huh?
Now I sit in front of my Dell Precision, sounds of phone calls, discussions, keyboard strokes, chattering, and songs. I have opened couple of web pages, our application –A-VIEW, some excel sheets, and a project proposal document, I see around and I’ll tell myself – This is our office and I’ve been here a year…
(Friends, you see this video...Ajith ettan was testing the new upgradation in some video streaming technology (that’s how we were caught in the lens); it was a happy moment just because it was a fun day. Ashish ettan and I were practicing our new greeting style. Sethu sir was seriously working, Krishant was escaping and laughing at us, Varkkichayan and Swarnakka were wondering whatz happening, Sreejith bhai was trying to be the tuff guy, u see that smile on Ajith ettans face? He smiles this way when he captures rare videos, he has done it before too, right Swarnakka? And you know, Adarsh ettan edited the video, special thanks to you…)
(here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8DQ8Ydh-RE)
